Summer plans
My summer plans are starting to form, and I’m particularly excited to stand on the starting line of a race (or actually several) again!
⚡️ @monterosaskymarathon with @hollygettingscared in June
⚡️ @traildutourdesfiz in July
⚡️ @utmbmontblanc MCC in August
…and hopefully some other mountain projects in between 🥰
This is very special for me, because before I was diagnosed with burnout depression in 2018, my relationship with running had quickly turned into something I loved to something I did only to prove myself and to stand on top of the podium. I wanted to be the best, and nothing less was good enough. It was a horrible time and something I don’t wish for anyone. All of the joy I had felt in racing was entirely gone. Honestly, ever since then I’ve been scared to sign up for races — scared that this little demon within will sneak out again and destroy all the good and wonderful things about racing.
In September last year I ran @angsotrailrun at home in Sweden and although I didn’t win, I felt like a winner. I was able to have fun and to be happy with what I had accomplished, no matter what the result list said. That day was a big shift for me in my life as a runner.
Now I’m getting ready to put on a starting bib again, post-depression, post-surgery and post-all those hurdles that I have somehow managed to overcome.
I’m nervous, yes, but I’m also excited. Because this time I’m taking on these challenges with an entirely different mindset. This time I don’t care about what anyone else thinks of me or my performance. My goal is to do the best that *I* can and to have fun along the way. To smile and explore nature in my running shoes. To share the experience with other runners rather than seeing everyone as my rival.
In a way, this will a journey back to the roots, to where it all started and where I found my love for running in the first place.
I can’t wait. Let’s go! 💛