How quickly your world can be turned upside down

I was out running in the forest this morning and at the end of the last technical section before the road I sprained my right (“good”) ankle. Badly. A cracking sound, immediate pain from hell and I knew this can’t be good.

It’s been one year since I had surgery on my left foot and right now I can’t say much more than that this feels like a nightmare. I’m in total shock.

The X-ray shows an avulsion fracture (when small pieces of bone are torn from a tendon or ligament) and I still need to get an MRI to see what damage has been done to the ligaments. Right now the future is a total blur.

As I was being carried out of the forest (luckily I was not alone) to the car this morning, the emotions and thoughts came rushing through my mind

Why is this happening to me?
I had just got back on my feet after the last surgery, and now this?

The upside is, I’ve done this before. I know what I need to do. And I know it is “just” an injury” but right now I am devastated.

I have cried my eyes out dry yet the tears somehow keep coming. It is extremely difficult when you love something so much and it gets torn away from you, again and again. Two surgeries in the last three years and now this. Each time you find yourself at the bottom of a bottomless pit, yet each time you find a way to pull through. You come back stronger. You spend countless hours doing your rehab, giving your body love, working on your mental strength because it’s either that or letting your sadness and anger eat you up.

Maybe, probably, hopefully, I’ll get through this too. But right now I don’t know how or where I am supposed to find that strength again. I am totally lost. 💔